Japanory

End of Term and Start of the Sakura Season

Friday 30^th March 2007

Today school finishes at midday for the Easter Holidays. Quite a relief for both of us, I think.

Parking was atrocious, so I had to leave the car parked illegally on the road and grab Rhiannon as fast as possible to hustle her up the road before the parking wardens' ticket me.

Home, quick lunch then, as it's such a beautiful day, we decide to go to Shinjuku Gyoen garden to see how the cherry blossom is coming on.

Hanami is the traditional Japanese custom of 'flower viewing' and the flowers to be viewed are Sakura, the beautiful, delicate cherry blossom. There is a sort of forecast, called, sakurazensen, where the blooming of the sakura is followed up through Japan from south to north and is announced each year by the weather bureau. The reason for this is that parties, hanami, need careful planning due to the ephemeral nature of the cherry flowers which only last a week or so.

Hanami is basically a day long party beneath a convenient sakura tree. Someone stakes their claim to a particular tree very early in the morning of the party by laying what seems to be a standard issue blue plastic tarpaulin upon the ground. Claims are not 'jumped' and the parties are very refined compared to any similar event in the UK. The loudest I've seen was a group of youths, (who in the UK would have been paralytic with alcohol, rowdy and annoying) but here were… skipping! Slightly drunk, singing songs and skipping with ropes! Unbelievable, but true.

Anyway, this afternoon was stunning and, as it wasn't a weekend the hanami parties hadn't started so we were able to see the enormous variety of flowers without interrupting a party. There were a few people around, mostly photographers who queued up to get the best shot of a particularly beautiful tree. Many of the trees aren't fully out yet, but it won't be long.

I'll let some of my photos tell the story now.

 

I have hundreds of Sakura photos! I found them irresistable and decided I need a new camera so I can get closer to them for more interesting pictures.

I already have about 5 cameras... none of which do precisely what I want!

 

The School Ball... for Children Only

29^th March 2007

What a fabulous idea! All the Reception year children are having a proper Ball this afternoon as an end of term treat. Parents are not allowed, except for a quick visit to take photos. Rhiannon tells me they have been practising dancing at school; "proper dancing - with BOYS"! From this I presume the teachers have attempted to instruct the children on how to waltz. How I wish I could be a fly on the wall.

The invitation states "Wicked Step-mothers and Step-Fathers to leave immediately. Ball starts at 5.30pm; carriages at 7.30pm"!

The theme, well considered for 5 year olds, is "Princes and Princesses". My little diva girl is so excited that she spends the entire time from returning home from school until it's time to leave getting primped and pampered. She wanted make-up, which I duly applied then rubbed most of it off before she noticed. Of course she HAD to wear her high-heeled sparkly silver shoes (bought by Tim, not my choice!)

And she gets a chance to wear her bridesmaid dress again, so that makes us both happy. I spent a lot of money having that made and there's little opportunity for her to wear it as it's too precious for standard dressing-up games.

We arrived at the school to see a long line of delightfully dressed up kids and proud mums. The school have even set out a red carpet for them to walk on, how thoughtful.

It's very easy for girls to dress up, but for boys, the challenge is somewhat more difficult. But there are so many extraordinarily resourceful and creative mums that the Princes looked fantastic. A lot of work had gone into their outfits.

A professional photographer was in place and each child had their picture taken by him before moving downstairs to the gym; sorry Ballroom.

Wow! The teachers had really pulled out all the stops and had turned it into a beautifully magical place. It was quite dark so was hard to see who else was there let alone take photos. The ceiling was decorated with streamers and fairy lights, a live band made up of some of the teachers played at one end with a bar set up at the other end. My daughter headed straight for the bar...

She completely ignored me from that point on so I was able to catch a rather scary glimpse into the future. I took some snaps to remind me that these childhood years don't last long and soon this bar-hopping, boy-chatting-up and partying will be "for real" in the not too distant future.

Before long, the order rang out that all parents were to leave. Reluctantly we drift away. I grab a quick hug from Rhiannon before she heads back to the bar and torments a boy or two on the way.

After the Ball I collect a rather dishevelled, tired and over-excited princess who had an absolutely wonderful time. She wouldn't tell me much about what they did, but she was extremely impressed with the live band because she didn't realise her favourite teachers could "do that"! I tried to find out who she danced with, but she wouldn't tell me.

Perhaps this was a good lesson for us parents too.

A School Meeting

Wednesday, 21^st March 2007

Today is a school holiday because the teachers are running a "how your child is doing" session with the class teacher. I don't remember the proper name for it.

I don't like schools. Hated it when I was there, hate them as a mother. But I have to pretend to be a grown-up once in a while so off I went at the appointed time.

Rhiannon wasn't allowed into the meeting and instead had to go to a common room on a different floor where she was supposed to play and wait patiently while I did my Mum stuff with her teacher.

Now Rhiannon is still painfully shy in many situations, doesn't like being left alone and is not enjoying school much. She's had a few run-ins with some of the children but not a lot of information is passed between school and parents. I was lucky in that one of the first things I was told (by another mum, not the school) that I MUST check the school newsletters online each week to find out what will be happening the following week.

After one particularly violent incident when Rhiannon was punched hard by a boy in her class for no reason, I had a word with her teacher. This is not encouraged at all, but hey! my kid, my right to know, thank you very much!

My complaint was brushed away with a wave of the hand, literally, and the not completely encouraging information that yes, they knew about it and to let them deal with it, don't interfere. Oh, and that particular boy "had a few problems". (As it turned out, Rhiannon stood up to him, befriended him and they became inseparable until he moved away a year later).

Anyway, back to the meeting. After peeling Rhiannon off me to leave her in the common room I made my way to the class to meet the teacher.

I was shown Rhiannon's work books and then was bluntly told that she really wasn't up to speed with anything, she was well behind all the other children and "didn't seem to be trying". I was made to feel that it was all my fault. Mind you, that is a Mum's guilt isn't it? Everything your child does is "the parents' fault".

Devastated, angry and upset, I told the teacher that considering Rhiannon hadn't been to school since mid-November last year, I thought she wasn't doing too badly. Teacher expressed amazement at this: apparently she was totally unaware of how much school Rhiannon had missed due to there not being a place for her here until January. How could she NOT be aware, when she was told this as soon as Rhiannon joined? So now this will be taken into consideration. Too little, too late.

No wonder the poor girl wasn't enjoying school; she was being made to feel incompetent by the teacher! Not only is she having to try and catch up with school work among children who have been having extra-curricular tuition too, she has to learn how to mix with a lot of children in a school which appears to have very little pastoral care.

I vowed never again to go to school report meetings; Tim can deal with them in future as he's far more mature than me when it comes to school stuff.

Yet Another Spoiled Playdate

20^th March 2007

Rhiannon has a lovely new friend in her class, Natalie. Her mum is pretty wonderful too so I've invited them both for a playdate. Well, the kids will play while Yoko and I sit and gossip! They arrived about a month ago from London, although you can guess by her name that Yoko is Japanese and her husband is American.

But two other children were suddenly thrust upon me too... by the ever-imposing M. I have no idea on the niceties of how to refuse to allow kids to come and play, especially as they were with her when she asked, but in the interests of my daughter making friends, I reluctantly agreed. She just said "Can my two come to your place today?" I know I could say no, but I'm still finding my feet here so my mouth said "yes".

I collected Yoko and the four children from school in the car. It was a very tight squeeze and the arguing started even before we reached the bottom of the hill from school.

"You're squashing me", "Move over", "I don't WANT to sit on your lap..."

Arrived home with great relief and prised the children from the car and sent them off upstairs. Peace at last.

I made tea and Yoko and I settled down to get to know each other a bit better. Our first topic of conversation was, of course, how did the other two kids end up to be invited? Natalie is extremely shy and Yoko was hoping for a quiet playdate – as was I.

Yoko has been speaking to the various Japanese mums at school and was imparting some fascinating information received from them about how peculiar Maria is and how it would be best for most people's state of mind if they just kept away from her. This I was beginning to understand; she has a way of making one feel inadequate, angry and sympathetic all at the same time.

Just then, the doorbell rang.

Puzzled, I got up to answer it. We don't really get callers here unless it's the postman and it was far too late for him.

Ohmigod! It was M in the flesh! Not only had she invited the children, she'd invited herself!

She was obviously taken aback to see Yoko and a flash of offended jealousy went across her face. Hmmm.

Reading between the lines, she didn't trust me not to let her children watch "uneducational TV" and needed to ensure Rhiannon played nicely. Grrrr.

Needless to say the playdate wasn't a great success for us adults. And one of M's children broke something very precious of Rhiannon's. But of course, M wasn't going to believe that for one minute so luckily for us all, the date was cut short.

I will not be inviting them back again anytime soon.

But I will be seeing Yoko and Natalie as much as possible.