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Today it finally hit me that we are leaving Japan for good on Monday morning.
Why the realisation should poleaxe me today, I don't know. Well, actually I do know - today the pets went to a boarding hotel before their early flight on Monday. While walking the dog this morning it suddenly occurred to me that this would be the last walk I would ever take with her along the beautiful sakura-lined walk next to Shinjuku-gyoen. My eyes started leaking and I couldn't blame the blustery wind. Rhiannon's missing her comforter...
The house seems so empty without the furry whirlwinds.
Post-quake comforting
We always knew that our posting here was for four years and we've already managed to extend that by six months. Frustratingly, I keep having to explain to people that we are not leaving because of the earthquake and nuclear events. Our departure has been planned for over a year.
Last night was Tim's sayonara 'do' where we had a nice time with his work colleagues. But it has left me without a sense of closure, as I missed out on saying goodbye to my friends because they left Japan.
We spent today trying to fit the rest of our belongings into suitcases, weighing them, emptying them and starting over. Tomorrow will probably be the same.
And then we will catch a plane on Monday morning to take us first to London and the dubious pleasures of Hellish Heathrow before connecting to Berlin where we will spend the next four years.
While I'm looking forward to our new adventure, I feel like a huge part of my heart will be left behind in Japan. And with the earthquake and everything else that's happened, and is still happening, I would rather be here to help out. But I will be a tryjin from Berlin.
Where we love is home,
Home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.
~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., Homesick in Heaven
So what's next for Japanory?
For those of you that read and enjoy Japanory, thank you, I do appreciate your visits, emails and comments. And for those of you who found this little Travelblog through a Google search, I hope you got some useful information from it.
Before the earthquake struck on 11th March, I had only just finished blogging to the end of 2008. (If you followed Japanory from the start you'll know I was a retro-blogger, working from my diaries, memory and photos, and woefully behind!). It seems to me to be a little crass to restart doing that again right now.
Then again, I started writing Japanory for my own personal record. In the future, I hope Rhiannon will be able to look back at this and remember her time in Japan. 2009 was a very stressful yet life-changing year on many levels and there are some stories I think may be useful or interesting to some. There are some posts I dread writing as painful memories will surface. On the flip side, there were some absolutely wonderful times too.
Should I carry on with my retro Tokyo tales or leave it be? What do you think?
And for those of you who have asked me to write about Berlin... get your thinking caps on for a blog name please!
I'm not promising anything, but I have certainly found blogging in the present time very cathartic and useful. So if I do write a Berlin blog, I will NOT let it to get so behind!
But now I'm signing off. I don't know when I will get back online again in Germany but I will briefly update you on our arrival.
Thank you and sayonara for now.
I do believe I have run out of words.
Just as I started to think of composing a new post last night, we were hit by a huge aftershock at 11.30pm. Initially it was measured at 7.4 magnitude but was later reduced to a 7.1.Regardless of the numbers, it was absolutely terrifying.
Everyone apart from me was asleep. The tremor started as normal, but then it continued and got stronger; just like the big quake on 11th March. I was up and had the back door open, wondering at what point I should go up and get Rhiannon. But she was soon hurtling downstairs. It seemed like an eternity before Tim appeared.
The house was rattling horrendously. And the ground just kept shaking on and on. I think it lasted about three very long minutes. Time slows down. It's incredible how many thoughts can run through your mind in nano-seconds.
For some reason this one rattled me far more than the initial 9.0 magnitude earthquake. I think because I've been wondering about the stresses put onto the fault lines and tectonic plates under Tokyo that will produce The Big One - the Tokai earthquake.
I didn't sleep much last night. Just too much is going on right now.
Gaijin
For the non Japanese speakers, the word "gaijin" means a foreigner or outsider. Or to be more precise "non-Japanese", or "alien". This word is a short form of gaikokujin, which means "foreign country people". ["Gai" rhymes with tie with a hard g].
We tend to stand out. Some gaijin find it an offensive word, but we aren't Japanese and cannot be Japanese, so why find it insulting? It's a description, that's all, and one I'm perfectly happy with.
Flyjin
A new term has arisen since the mega-earthquake on 11th March - flyjin. Now this term can be considered offensive as I believe it's intended to be a disparaging description. But I must admit to finding it a funny pun. Flyjin refers to those many thousands of expats who left Japan in the week or two after Fukushima started its ongoing crisis.
Of course, those that left the devastated areas shouldn't be labelled with this derogatory term. Perhaps it should only apply to those who left Tokyo? And anyway, it isn't just expats who have left; many Japanese have evacuated Tokyo as well. Some have moved to their families further away from the perceived dangers, while others have moved overseas.
The decision to leave must have been very hard for many people. Especially for those who had to leave the rest of their family in Tokyo or elsewhere in Japan. The incorrect and hyperbolic reporting in the Western media fueled the pressure on them to leave. Families in the "home" countries put immense demands on their relatives in Japan - I too had some emotional blackmail to deal with, so I know how it felt. Not nice.
For others though, it was a chance to take a long, paid-for holiday, for example, "US Military Families That Fled Japan Receive Generous Travel Allowances"...which hasn't helped "international relations" at all, as you can imagine.
Several people had no choice in the matter as their companies insisted upon them leaving for insurance purposes. Not everyone left Japan altogether, some moved further south in the country. A few are now returning but, as far as I have been told by their work colleagues, they aren't so highly respected anymore. Some may not even have jobs to come back to if the rumoured move of Tokyo companies to Osaka happens. It's also been hinted that if jobs are cut in the near future, who will be first against the wall? I must emphasise that this is speculation from talking to various business people here.
Others have just instructed removal companies to pack up all their belongings and ship them on - they are not returning to Japan at all.
Stayjin
Some people have accused those of us who stayed in Tokyo of being stupid, gullible, mis-informed, brave, stubborn, bad parents, reckless or smug, amongst numerous other judgmental espressions.
Which am I?
Lots of guilt-trips have been poured onto us. "Think of the children!", "What if X happened, then Y and Z? What if? What if?" We've been judged as much as flyjin - but admittedly this judgement has probably just been made in private and hasn't appeared in the press.
But for some reason, it is the flyjins who feel they have to defend their actions repeatedly. Why is this? Is it because the word is out there? Surely people are allowed to make choices? Whether or not you agree with their choices is up to you and judgement is unnecessary, unkind and uncalled for. People make their decisions based on what they feel is best for their family at that time.
However, there does appear to be a palpable divide between flyjin, stayjin and Tokyoites. You see it when you go into a store, bar, restaurant, coffee shop. I see the surprised and pleased reactions in people's faces when they meet me on my regular dog walks. Few people really voice their true opinions, which may only make this worse. All I know for sure is that throughout the past three weeks, we have been greeted with happy surprise and a great deal of appreciation by our local shop and restaurant owners.
So, do I regret not leaving? An emphatic NO! The "What ifs" didn't happen. I am not glowing around the edges with radiation. It turned out the main problems I personally faced were having Rhiannon at home from school the whole time and the frequent, unnerving aftershocks. Oh, and the jishin yoi. None of which were enough to take me away from my beloved Tokyo. Radiation was not an issue.
If I had left with Rhiannon, Tim and the pets would have had to stay in Tokyo. If there is one thing I've learned from this disaster is that family matters more than anything. Keeping us all together was vital for all our wellbeing. That was our joint decision and we don't regret it.
Incidentally, I met a girl yesterday who, as a child through to her teens, lived very close to Chernobyl when it went - she's fine. And as has been stated in this blog before, Fukushima cannot ever be another Chernobyl, whatever happens.I have done so much research I feel I could write a thesis on nuclear crises!
Tryjin
I really like this term. It's positive, it's go-getting, it's the can-do attitude that spurs people on to make the best of a very difficult time. And the tryjins are getting some amazing results.
Tryjin was coined by an amazing venture called 'Quakebook', a "Twitter-sourced charity book about how the Japanese Earthquake at 2:46 on March 11, 2011 affected us all. All revenues from the QuakeBook Book go to the Japan Red Cross." Tryjin means foreigners who are trying to do everything they can to help Japan.
I wish I could do more to help, and I wish I could be personally involved with Quakebook, but I found out about it too late and our impending move means there's little I can commit to right now. For now, all I can do is help publicise it as much as possible via Twitter, Facebook, various media contacts and here. Maybe in a few weeks when we are settled in Berlin, I can properly help Japan, albeit from afar. No idea how, though. Something will come up, I'm sure.
Other tryjins I've already mentioned (because I know them personally) are Caroline Pover and Dee and Trace from 37 Frames.
BUT, with the worldwide media concentrating on the nuclear crisis, the real tragedy is being overlooked.
Today's horrific numbers: "TOKYO, April 6 - The National Police Agency said on Wednesday that the March 11 earthquake and tsunami have left 12,468 people dead and 15,091 others unaccounted for in Japan by 10:00 a.m. local time (0100 GMT)."
Finally, via Quakebook I discovered this moving song, with photos from the aforementioned Dee & Trace:
Ganbatte to all the tryjins. Keep going! You're doing a fantastic job, thank you.
