Monday morning (it was 13th...) was spent at a "diagnostikum" centre for the scans and x-rays the doctor ordered. It was not a pleasant experience.
For a start, I had to be there at 8.30am having had nothing to eat or drink since the previous night. I found the building with no problem, thanks to Google maps, but finding the correct department was a little trickier. However, medical words are pretty much the same the world over so by reading the signs I was able to hazard a guess as to which floor to start on.
The receptionist spoke no English but we got by and I ended up sitting in the waiting area for quite a while wondering what would happen next. I was also worried about what they might potentially find wrong with me. It's amazing what thoughts whizz around your brain in circumstances like this.
Since arriving here in Berlin I haven't felt fully well, but not actually ill, if that makes sense. I've been quite wheezy on many occasions, like asthma, but I'm not (knowingly) asthmatic. Add this to my newly discovered stomach problems and recent inability to eat bread or wheat-based food without repercussions, I felt I was likely to be shown something disturbing. I had no fixed idea what might be discovered, mind you, but my brain was all over the place.
Just as I was thinking I had been forgotten someone called my name. I was ushered into a room full of contraptions. I have to admit I was so anxious about this appointment that I didn't fully take in what the room was. So I asked. It was the ultrasound room. That meant I was having the abdominal scan first. The doctor would be looking for cysts.
If you take away my anxiety an ultrasound scan isn't actually an unpleasant event. Just cold and sticky really. I couldn't see the screen.
The doctor was thorough and the scanning took some time. What I did not like was her concentrating on an area for a long time and clicking her keyboard.
And I really did not like the frown I saw on her face while she did that.
Then she made an announcement; but I couldn't catch what she said. It was a long, medical word, but with her strong German accent I could not work it out. However, it ended in "-oma" which terrified the life out of me.
She'd found this "something" on or in my right kidney and was going to call in a colleague for a second opinion. The screen was turned towards me and she pointed it out to me. Sure enough, something round that shouldn't be there... was.
Another doctor came in and the two of them rattled away to each other in German for what seemed an eternity.
I cannot describe how utterly chilling that experience was, not understanding whether you were being delivered a death sentence or not. I fought back petrified tears.
Finally I caught the words, "ein Stein, das ist ein Stein" A stone! A kidney stone! Some relief washed over me. Relief that it wasn't this "-oma" thing and the scary possibilities that may represent, but fear by knowing how damn painful kidney stones can be.
I was told I could get dressed and return to the waiting area ready for the x-rays. Numbly I did as I was told.
The x-rays went well. My lungs are clear - in fact the doctor was puzzled as to why I was there for a chest x-ray. I shrugged. But at least that's one less thing to worry about.
As for my back, nothing much was said apart from "some degeneration". I have no idea what that means. I guess my GP-type doctor will tell me more later in the week.
Unfortunately, my relief about the "kidney stone" was short-lived. Because of the initial appearance of it - apparently not a standard presentation - I have to go back in a couple of weeks for a CT scan to make sure.
I wasn't expecting any of this.
Needless to say I've been a bit of a wreck ever since that visit.