When Rhiannon had to visit the doctor a couple of weeks ago, I made an appointment for myself. Whilst I had no particular need to visit, I thought it would be a good idea to get properly registered and checked over. Besides, I've got an ongoing back problem, so thought I could get some pain killers. I don't like to visit a doctor for no tangible reason.
While I was waiting for the doctor, the practise nurse called me into a little room. She had me sit on the chair and got out an arm cuff, so I thought I was about to have my blood pressure taken.
But then she unpacked a heap of test tubes and a syringe! I was relieved of half an armful of blood, separated into four differently coloured and sized test tubes. To say I was astounded would not be an understatement, especially as at no point was I told this was going to happen - I only realised when the needle started approaching me!
When I did finally get to see the doctor I did ask about the blood, and apparently it's normal here. Tests will be run for various things such as sugar levels, kidney function, cholesterol and so on. Which is a shame as I firmly believe in the head-in-the-sand method, particularly with regard to cholesterol levels. I do like my food, you see, and don't relish the idea of giving up all that's nice.
We got into the history and lifestyle note taking.
She was horrified about my tea drinking and subsequent sugar intake; to be fair, it is fairly high but I've been cutting back in an effort to lose weight. I also told her my dieting problems - a) that I've never done it before, b) I had a stomach upset at Christmas which doesn't seem to have resolved and c) I appear to have become intolerant of wheat.
So she made a note to test me for Coeliac Disease.
I mentioned my back problem.
"What did your x-ray show was wrong with your back?" she asked.
"Erm, what x-ray?"
Horror spread across her face. Again. And she booked me in for an x-ray. And another for my chest as I'd never had one of those either.
We moved on to other, female specific, issues. She wrote out a referral letter for me. Unlike the British NHS, there are different places to go for 'these sorts of things', so now I have to find my way to the gynaecologist.
However, in response to one condition I have, she thought it would be best to have a full abdominal scan to see if I had any cysts lurking around. And booked me in for one of those too.
"Welcome to German medicine," she proudly proclaimed.
My head was reeling a little by this point so was pleased to be asked to move to the couch for some prodding.
Following on from my stomach upset comments, she prodded me firmly at the top of my stomach. It hurt like hell! Absolute agony. Which surprised me a bit. Gastritis, apparently.
She got out the prescription pad.
Painkillers, check. Tablets for my stomach, check.
Finally she demanded a urine sample. Nice. I managed a little and waited while they tested it there and then.
She called me into a little room where she told me I also had a UTI and was amazed I had no symptoms. Out came her prescription pad again with a script for antibiotics.
"Can I go now, please?" I pleaded.
"Yes, come back next week when I'll have the results of all your tests and scans."
I fled. I'd only gone in with a back ache.
At least the pharmacist provided some gentle relief. For three sets of medication I was amazed to only be charged 5 euros for the lot! And they gave me some freebies... a couple of sweets and a packet of tissues!