July 2007
Seasoned expats have advised us on two very important rules about returning to your home country.
Rule 1: Do not go "home" for at least a year. Mind you, this is only really relevant if you aren't settling happily into your 'new' country. However, we feel very settled and happy in Tokyo so have no fear of the pull of Britain becoming too overwhelming (as if!).
We've heard numerous tales about families going home and the wife refusing to return with her husband at the end of their holidays. I've assured a slightly worried Tim that there is NO WAY I'd ever do this to him. He knows of a fair number of people this has happened too. How terribly sad.
Rule 2: Do not spend your precious time trying to visit everyone. Select a convenient location and suggest they all come to you. If you are important to them, then they will visit you. If not, then no loss.
This worked very well indeed.
Prior to 2004, Mum held family garden parties each year when our entire (smallish) family came to visit. However, since Dad died in 2004, Mum hasn't been able to bring herself to do this again. I tentatively suggested restarting it this year, but no, understandably she didn't want the hassle and the painful reminder of the past happy summers.
The last garden party in 2003: this is my family: my darling Dad is second from the right.
Instead, my oldest friend will drive down from Wales and stay for a few days. My brother and his family will join us all for Mum's birthday party at a lovely pub on the River Test. And that's it.
I'll catch up with my other best mate while we are in Devon.
