This post would have a very different tone if I'd written it a couple of days ago when I'd just returned from London.
It was a fairly eventful trip.
It started with a heavy snowstorm on the morning of my flight out. Runways were closed and my plane was stuck on the tarmac for three hours! I was more than a little tense as I had an appointment for 4pm and only just made it in time.
My trip ended with an email received while on the airport-bound Heathrow Express which informed me that I did not get the job I'd spent so long preparing for and travelling so far to be interviewed for.
Yes, I was extremely upset. But in retrospect I think I had my suspicions when the interview only took half an hour and was very superficial. However, I do tend towards optimism - perhaps a little too much as it does mean I get my hopes up - and really thought the job was mine. Ah well.
For a few hours after receiving the email, my mood plummeted to rock-bottom and many black thoughts ran through my head; I'm a failure; I'm washed up, will never work again; too old for this (!), and many other self-pitying internal rants. I constantly fought back tears.
On the flight back to Berlin my wallowing wasn't helped by a couple of men I was sitting next to; they were celebrating a new job one of them had just got here. Oh, I was bitter. But then one of them mentioned something that made me realise that I may well bump into him at some point as his new job is within our circle! I kept my mouth shut and eavesdropped instead. It cheered me up. Take this as a warning: be careful what you say - you never know who may be listening and they may well know, and be friends with, that person you are talking about.
After a very good night's sleep and lots of love from my family and pets, I've recovered my equilibrium and this post won't be anywhere near as maudlin as it would have been on Friday.
London was fabulous. A thought ran through my head at one point, "It's so good to be home." This meant London, not the UK in general. I've always had a strong love for the city. I was still able to find my way around and walked for miles admiring the landmarks, both standard and non-standard. And I shopped and shopped. At one point I thought I'd have to buy a new suitcase in order to get my goodies home, but somehow it all fitted in.
What did I buy? Lots of smellies and chocolate! Germany doesn't seem to have any good quality, fine scents so I spent a long time in Diptyque and Jo Malone choosing candles and other gorgeous things. I also spent almost two days in Selfridges where the stock and customer service is wonderful. I even managed to find that holy grail - a pair of jeans that fit my 36" inside leg and flatter my non-existent bum. They're Goldsign jeans by the way, just in case anyone stumbles across this blog looking for 36 inch inseam jeans!
I went a bit mad in the food hall too, stocking up on items I just cannot find here. Daft things like good quality food colouring and essences. And chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate.
By far and away the highlight of my trip was being able to meet up with a couple of lovely friends who travelled all the way to London to see me. Thank you ladies! You made the trip worthwhile.
And thank you to everyone who wished me luck, then commiserated with me. You really helped.